Visit With Family

Last weekend we drove 3 hours to visit my side of the family for a toddler birthday party.  I wasn’t sure what to expect from Sweetness because I just never know what I am going to get from her in terms of sleep, mood, eating habits, anything!  She generally is very slow to warm up to new people and she typically cries if someone other than myself or her Daddy hold her so I was a bit nervous.  Not to mention that our last trip to visit family turned into a nightmare car ride home and a few sleepless nights.

So I was pleasantly surprised when I observed Sweetness having a gay ‘ol time with her cousins.  Our first stop was my sister’s house to see the birthday boy and Sweetness was in awe of her cousin.  She couldn’t get enough of him and she was giggling all afternoon.  They were like peas and carrots. It was a heart warming experience.  I’d never really seen her like that and I was just so happy for her.  She was truly enjoying herself.

My joy quickly turned to self doubt as I can be quite hard on myself in general and specifically as a new mom.  Why wasn’t she this giddy at home? Was I depriving her of socialization with other kids?  Am I stimulating her enough?  Is there something MORE I could be doing?????  Why do I always have to second guess myself? UGH. Is there ever a time where you feel confident as a mother?

At the risk of continuing to go down a negative path I decided that I am going to look for new things for Sweetness and I to do outside of the house.  I’m really going to make an effort to connect with new mom friends.  I can tend to be shy meeting new people especially in a group setting but after this recent family visit and spending most of the winter cooped up I realize that it is healthy to get out and explore new things with Sweetness.  Even today at the grocery store I noticed that she got excited to look at new people and she actually tried to get a random stranger’s attention by “hee hee’ing” at them.  It was adorable.  She’s always surprising me!

Anyway I’ll leave you with a picture of my baby girl in her party dress:


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